When one has to live with a disorder, is there such a thing as being overly involved with it? I know in my blog posts, I try to find a way to convey educational information through some form of humor.
But unfortunately there is a limit to the humorous aspects of Migraine disease. It is even more disheartening to see that the road to finding a cure to migraines is not to be found anywhere in the near future. That means more people will have to endure the pain and symptoms that comes along with Migraines.
Migraines cannot kill you. But there are those who suffer from depression, because there is nothing that can relieve their symptoms, or even worse, they become tired of people who do not believe they suffer, and out of frustration become suicidal. For others, the very medications that they are on to help their migraines will cause suicidal ideation. I am blessed that I do not suffer from depression, but I can understand how migraine and depression can have such a close link.
A migraine for me, is like a growth. Sometimes it grows on the top of my head, or above my left eye, or just to the top of my left ear towards the back of my head. The growth slowly expands causing painful pressure. My left eye feels like it is bulging, and my vision to my left side becomes blurred. If you cover up my right eye, a picture of waviness forms, similar to how heat would rise from the concrete floor on a very hot summer day.
My neck will become very stiff along with my shoulders and the numbness to my left side follows. My lips and left cheek become numb mimicking the effects of an anesthetic after having had dental treatment. Then the numbness spreads to the left side of my body. I pay close attention to how I swallow, as I have actually choked a few times during an episode.
My speech is slow and if I am around visitors, you may see me smiling a lot instead of talking. That is because I don't want to feel like a complete idiot when I can't remember words or events. My hand grasp is weak, and I can't trust myself to cook when I am like this. I have actually burned myself in the past. Eventually my left leg will stop working. I cannot tiptoe with my left foot as I have foot drop during an episode. If I enter a car, I must lift my left leg up with the help of my husband, or I lift it up on my own. I use a walker, a cane, or my wheelchair during an attack, depending on my level of weakness. My ears ring constantly but it will ring louder than usual and vertigo can also occur.
These episodes can last anywhere from 48 hours to 10 days. That is why I stay vigilant and track my triggers and avoid them when I can. Unfortunately there are those triggers that I can't avoid. My Aleeve and Reglan is always close at hand, just in case that "funny" feeling begins.
I thank God every day for my families patience and adaptability. They live this with me. My husband becomes a gofer, a cook, a housekeeper. My daughter will sometimes lay with me when I have to be in bed, and my boys will share their shoulders with their mother as they help me up the flight of steps. My beloved dog will stay with me the entire time I am sick.
I do not write this because I want to be pitied. For those of you who know me, this would be completely out of character for me. That is likely why I write my blog posts the way I do, with humor and always in a positive note.
I write this because I want others to continue to be aware of what a Migraineur must go through. That a migraine is not just a bad headache. It is a sadly underfunded neurological disease that affects our health, the way we interact with others, our ability to work, and our ability to feel completeness in our lives. It can strip away our dignity and our self-esteem. It has the power to make us powerless.
So I will continue to educate myself and maybe along the way help to educate others. There is no such thing as over-saturating yourself with information. There is no such thing as being too overly involved.
June is Migraine Awareness Month! I hope I helped to make someone aware.
